It's Not My Funeral

NORMAL OPENING

TITLE comes up: Rest In Pieces

Camera pans into bedroom

Number Six, eyes moving under closed lids.

Wakes with start

No6: Dream. Just a dream.

 

Camera draws out – into Living Space of Number Two. He is blond, wearing beatnik spectacles.

No2: Sleep no more Number Six. Your past is about to catch up with you.

Scene: Early morning in the village.

Groups of villagers clustered nearby the Tally-Ho printing press.

No6 is taking his early morning Constitutional. He notices crowds and looks puzzled.

Village Speakers blare out: Not such a good morning today. Such terrible news for all of us. Our legendary old No2 has died. Such a man as he comes but rarely and our thoughts must be with him this day. Tally-Ho has the full details and full information about how you can attend the coming memorials.

The speaker continues in it’s normal mundane way to announce the weather etc. No6’s face tightens with curiosity and he heads towards the Printing Press.

Paper-seller: 3 Units today – Special Edition

No6: My credit is as endless the News

Paper-seller tears off sheet: Sad news today No6

No6(sardonically): That’s hardly news in this place

No6 steps aside… POV Tally-Ho.

We see large photo of an elderly man wearing the badge of a No2.

 Headline: Village in Mourning.

We can read: For almost 30 years, No2 was the ubiquitous and distinctive face of the village. His trademark mixture of gurning and garrulity, inspired an entirely new genre of authority - what one observer called the “attention-seeking, nutty-prankster school” - but the old No2 also saw himself in a more serious role as the King Solomon, dispensing words of wisdom and advice to young villagers. “I never forgot they were the villagers and I was just No2,” he explained. Although he shrank from overexposure, the old No2 long established himself as the face of the village - nothing quite like him had been seen in the village. No2’s arsenal of sartorial and verbal oddities was also vividly deployed when he presented No2 Makes Dreams Come True, which ran on village screens for 20 years, and in which he played the role of benevolent uncle, granting wishes to the village’s children. No2’s ability to make dreams come true made him a powerful and mysterious figure

 The print then becomes too small for us to read, but No6 crumples the paper into a ball and drops it into a village dustbin – muttering to himself.

No6: Not enough to have living No2’s; now we have to hear about dead ones? Face of the village? Never seen his face before. 

No6 stops a moment, mid-stride

No6: Children? What children? We are the only children in this place. And nobody is going to make my dream come true in this place. Only out of it………

A woman’s voice is heard, and camera pulls back to reveal No14

No14: It is sad isn’t it No6. But you should not grieve alone. Let’s talk about him

No6 startled: Who? What?

No14: We will all miss him, but you should keep the souvenir edition, not throw it away. One day the pain will ease, and then you will be glad of the memories

No6 (realising she is referring to the screwed-up newspaper): I’ve never heard of him before

No14: You’re new here of course. He was one of the greatest No2’s of all

No6: You remember him?

No14(smiling): He once made my childish dream come true!!

No6(growls): How come you’re still here then?

No14(baffled): I don’t understand

No6(making the hand signal and moving away): Be seeing you

Scene: Living Space. Number 2 watching a disappointed No14

No2(scowling): That’s it No6. Only interested in your own dreams. No thought of the community.

No2(stabbing button on his console): Supervisor!

Suopervisor’s voice: Sir?

No2: Is the Obituary ready for broadcast?

Supervisor: On schedule for this evening as arranged sir

No2: Good – Erm – Supervisor?

Supervisor: Sir?

No2: No6’s monitor is in full interactive mode?

Supervisor: No off-switch operability?

No2 (grins): Exactly. He’ll mourn - whether he wants to or not.

Smiling beatifically behind his specs, he turns to see the butler carrying tea.

No2: He has no sense of sentiment!! No warmth!! He’ll have to be taught to feel better!!

Butler looks blankly at his master, and makes no expression

 Scene: Evening has come. No6 is in his cottage. Walks towards door as if to open it. It does not operate. He slaps the wood. Goes to window, fiddles with sashes but nothing will open. POV goes from his eyes up through the village scene of quiet to the moon in the sky. Suddenly the quiet of his cottage is broken by music from the TV. No6 turns abruptly, scowling. Tries to turn the machine off. It will not stop. He hits it, but then suddenly his curiosity is aroused.

TV: The old No2’s ability to make dreams come true made him a powerful and mysterious figure. At the height of the programme’s popularity, children would write in, asking No2 to “fix it” for them to sing with their favourite pop group, meet No1 or take part in the Olympics .

No6(to himself): Meet No1!?

 

No6 sits downs and pays attention the screen. The sound and the pictures merge into swirling patterns. No6 is evidently becoming hypnotised by the TV. His face becomes blanker, his eyes wider. POV changes to Living Space. No2 is grinning amiably.

No2: Feel your way in No6, feel your way in. It’s nice isn’t it? Sorrow, warmth, regret. Soon you’ll be desperate to share with us – tell us how you feel. Tell us what you know.

POV pans towards TV, from behind No6, pans around his shoulder to show us his face. Tears glisten wetly on his upper cheeks, his mouth drooping in grief. He rubs at his nose with the back of his hand, sniffing, and plunges his face into his hands, his shoulders shaking as he sobs.

NEW MORNING

Village Speakers: Another beautiful day, but one tinged with sweet sorrow as today is the day we lay our greatest No2 to rest. But we shall not waste the day in sorrow; let us instead celebrate the LIFE!!

LOUD MUSIC – the band is parading. Villagers in columns behind, carrying flowers as they move their umbrellas up and down.

No6 emerges from his cottage, and makes his way across the village to join the throng. Some smile and touch his arm, he is friendly and puts a hand on an occasional shoulder, in expressions of comfort. No14 finds him. They stay within the parade as they talk

No14: It’s so good that you share No6. Your sadness is our sadness and a problem shared is a problem taken away.

No6: Thank you. It must have been your words that changed me. I feel quite different to yesterday.

No14(smiling prettily): It makes me feel good to know that you feel good No6

No6 (smiling beatifically back at her): Your pleasure is my pleasure my dear

No14 (looking very content): It’s good that we lay the old No2 to rest with a celebration of his life

No6: I agree, even though I do not remember him

No14: Rely on me No6; he was a great man, a great and wonderful human being

No6: May he rest in peace

No14: All men and women would say Amen to that No6

No6: Was he a religious man?

No14(puzzled frown flicks over her face): Erm…… I forget……

No6: A good man though?

No14 (relieved and confident again) Truly good. He could make dreams come true

No6 (looking slightly puzzled now): Even meeting No1?!

No14 (looking evasive): I think for children, even that!

No6: I never see any children

No14: But you believe in them. You must believe in the children?

No6 (voice fading as if in doubt): I must believe, mustn’t I; it’s the only decent thing to do.

Scenes of funeral proceedings

The new No2 is addressing the happy mourners:………. he worked as a volunteer porter at the Old Folks Home, and enjoyed a particularly close relationship with the hospital raising many Charity Credits to contribute to the rebuilding of the hospital’s Spinal Injuries Centre, which opened some time ago. He also worked as a volunteer at the hospital for the criminally insane, where he was given his own room, and referred to the staff and patients at the hospital as “my people” and himself as “the Godfather”……

No6(in the crowd -slightly incredulous): Godfather?

No14(fawningly): No2 always said goodness was next to Godliness

No6(begins to frown): My godfathers………

The new No2 is still speechifying: ………… he claimed to have thousands of acquaintances, yet seemed to have few close friends. Away from public view, he could be prickly, impatient with journalists who attempted to get too close or pried too deeply into his affairs. He was a man who distrusted displays of emotion, and eschewed introspection or self-analysis, which he regarded as soft. A man who divided opinion ….. bit no longer are we divided! Three cheers for No2!!  Hipp Hip!!

As the crowd is shouting Hooray, the coffin is lowered……..

No14: Such a good man

No6: Is there any such thing as a good man?

No14(shocked): No6! You are a good man are you not?

No6(hypnosis clearly wearing off): Am I? How can I know?By listening to what others say about me?

No14(reaching for, and holding his arm): I feel you are a good man

No 6(glances at her arm and then her face, speaks coldly): How can you think you know me?

No14(drops his arm as if hot): In the midst of grief there is goodness…….

No6: Keep your grief for someone you care about.

No6 stalks off from the back of the crowd, back towards the village buildings. 
No2 sees his from his rostrum and his voice falters as he recognises the outsider leaving.

No2: A man who divided opinion without ever appearing to care much what anyone thought of him, he was simply an odd chap…….

Village Crowd(lifting umbrellas and throwing flowers at the grave as they march past): May he rest in pace!!  Rest in peace!!

END OF ACT ONE

ACT TWO

Living Space. No2 and No14 are being served by the Butler.

No2: It didn’t last long did it

No14: Over 12 hours

No2: Most of that time he was asleep. Difficult to get much out of a sleeping man, as we’ve already discovered.

No14: At least we know now that it works, if only for a short time

No2: The only reason he even looked at the screen was because he thought about meeting No1. He’s a man obsessed. that’s not going to work a second time is it……

No14: It’s all we have to work with

No2(rattling tea-cups): It’s not enough……

No14: The second phase will work better. Hate is a closer emotion to him than….. (she hesitates)….. than Love.

No2 (laughing out loud): Love? He doesn’t know the meaning of the word!! (laughing louder)

No14(quietly): He’s good at hating though….. (grimaces balefully)

The Butler is clearing up the tea things

No6 Cottage. He is inside, sitting in his bed, glancing at another copy of the Tally-Ho souvenir edition. 

He reads out loud.

No6: His public persona was his best camouflage. Long after his village fame had waned, the old No2 continued to give the impression of being instantly animated by the spotlight, no matter how dim it may have become, a man who regarded it as his duty to brighten everybody’s day, collaring passers-by to whom he was at best a distant memory and regaling them with his jokes and catchphrases, making a beeline for anybody in a wheelchair…….  Well, nobody is all bad are they…. I suppose

No 6 smiles inanely, as if at the room then folds the paper and lays it on the bedside table as he goes under the sheets, to fall asleep

Scene: Early morning in the village.

Groups of villagers clustered nearby the Tall-Ho printing press.

No6 taking his early morning Constitutional. Notices crowds, looks puzzled.

Village Speakers blare out: Not such a good morning today. Such terrible news for all of us. Such a man as he comes but rarely and our thoughts must be with his victims this day. Tally-Ho has the full details and full information about how you can attend the coming Hearings.

The speaker continues in it’s normal mundane way to announce the weather etc. No6’s face tightens with curiosity and he heads towards the Printing Press.

Paper-seller: 3 Units today – Special Edition

No6: My credit is as endless the News

Paper-seller(tears off sheet): Sad news today No6

No6(sardonically): That’s hardly news in this place

No6 steps aside… POV Tally-Ho.

We see large photo of the elderly man.

He is dressed badly and his teeth look rotten and his skin mottled

Headline: Village in Shock.

We can read: For almost 30 years, No2 was the ubiquitous and distinctive face of the village. His trademark mixture of gurning and garrulity, inspired an entire generation - what one observer called the “attention-seeking, nutty-prankster school” - but the old No2 has now been revealed in a more serious role as the King of Sodom, dispensing words of abuse and nastiness to young villagers. “I never forgot  that I was No2 and they were just villagers,” he said when in private. Although he shrank from any exposure, the old No2 long established himself as the face of the village - nothing quite like him had been seen in the village. No2’s arsenal of sartorial and verbal bombast was also vividly deployed when he presented No2 Makes Dreams Come True, which ran on village screens for 20 years, and in which he played the role of a seedy uncle, striking fear into the hearts of the village’s children. No2’s ability to make a nightmare come true for the village, grew from his power and his mystery

The print then becomes too small for us to read, but No6 crumples the paper into a ball and drops it into a village dustbin – muttering to himself.

No6: Not enough to have dead No2’s; now we have to hear about undead ones? Face of the village? Two faces, like everyone in this place.

No6 stops a moment, mid-stride

No6: Children? What children? We are the only children in this place. And this place is the nightmare. Not anything outside of it………

A woman’s voice is heard, and camera pulls back to reveal No14

No14: It is tragic isn’t it No6. But you should not grieve alone. Let’s talk about the victims

No6(startled): Who? What?

No14: He is dead, but you should keep the souvenir edition, not throw it away. The pain will never ease, and then you will be glad of the facts about the evil of the old No2.

No6(realising she is referring to the screwed-up newspaper): I’d never heard of him until a couple of days ago!!

No14: You’re new here of course. We thought he was one of the greatest, but now we know he was the worst, No2 of all

No6: Is there a difference? He was just a man

The pair walk through crowds of people gesticulating at copies of the newspapers

No6: You remember him?

No14: He once (she hesitates, choking on her words) He once….. ruined my childish dreams

No6 (growls): How come you liked him so much yesterday then?

No14(baffled): I don’t understand. Am I to blame for being taken in by him?

No6(makes a perfunctory hand signal and moves away): Be seeing you

Scene: Living Space. Number 2 watching a disappointed No14

No2(scowling): That’s it No6. Only interested in your own evils. No thought of the community.

Doors swish open and No14 enters

No14: I knew the news would not be enough. We must have more than that to persuade him

No2 (stabbing button on his console): Control!

Suopervisor’s voice: Sir?

No2: Is the Revelatory Exposure ready for broadcast?

Supervisor: On schedule for this evening as arranged sir

No2: Good – Erm – Supervisor?

Supervisor: Sir?

No2: Monitor No6 to be in full communication mode please

Supervisor: No off  operability?

No2 (grins): Exactly. He’a good at hating – but this time it will be what we want him to hate!!

Smiling beatifically behind his specs, he turns to see the butler carrying tea.

No2: He has no sense of shared sentiment!! No warmth towards the suffering of others!! He’ll have to be taught to feel bitter on behalf of the rest of us!!  Not just Himself!!

 

Turns to concentrate on the big screen of No6 walking through woodland, alone

Butler looks blankly at his master, and makes no reply

No14(mutters to herself as she sips tea): Himself is what makes his strength

Scene: Evening has come. No6 is in his cottage. Walks towards door as if to open it. It does not operate. He slaps the wood. Goes to window, fiddles with sashes but nothing will open. POV goes from his eyes up through the village scene of quiet to the moon in the sky. Suddenly the quiet of his cottage is broken by music from the TV. No6 turns abruptly, scowling. Tries to turn the machine off. It will not stop. He hits it, but then suddenly his curiosity is aroused.

TV: The old No2’s ability to make dreams come true made him a powerful and mysterious figure. At the height of the programme’s popularity, children would write in, but how could they know that his only purpose was to hurt them and carry out his foul and depraved crimes upon them!! Even No1 could not have known the scale of this man’s evil deceits!!  Shortly, No1 will be making a statement to us all – to explain how these crimes have finally be discovered and how lessons have been learned and these mistakes can never happen again!!  But first, we must steel ourselves to look closely at the wickedness of the old No2!!

No6: Statement? ………. By No1!?

No6 sits downs and pays attention the screen. The sound and the pictures merge into swirling patterns. No6 is evidently becoming hypnotised by the TV. His face becomes blanker, his eyes wider. POV changes to Living Space. No2 is grinning amiably.

No2: Feel your way in No6, feel your way in. It’s nice isn’t it? Hate, Disgust, Righteous Anger!!. Soon you’ll be desperate to share with us – tell us how you feel. Tell us what you know. Tell us EVERYTHING!!

The Butler clears away the tea-tray things

Morning – Usual Village welcome to another lovely day

Number Six is sitting near the Bandstand alone.

There are a number of villagers on the deckchairs nearby

No67: Utterly disgusting

No86: Vile

No34: How can No1 not have known?

No54: Nobody can know everything

No6 stirs himself, and offers conversation

No6: Who WAS No1 when this No2 was appointed?

The other villagers freeze mid-conversation, shifting uncomfortably in their seats

No86: Questions are a burden

No34: Answers can become a prison of convention

No6: Who are the prisoners here? Ourselves?

No54(standing peremptorily): You are a prisoner of the past!!

No67: What use can the past be? It is the future that matters!

No86(also standing): The past is the Past! We can only live in the present and have hope for the future!

No54: No1 has said we must not live in the past!! Forward is the only way we can travel. The future is our only hope!!

No6(squeezing temples): No1? No1? Did we see him? What is his past?. What is our future? This place?

The other villagers begin to move away, looking worried

No86(pulling folded Tally Ho from pocket): Did you not watch? Can you not read?

No54: The truth is out there now!

No86(throws paper at No6): No1 has shown that even the Village Guardians are not beyond evil

No34(choking on a sob): The children! The children

No86 & No54 & No67: The children!!!!

No6(stands, knocks the chair over, shouting): What children!!!! There ARE no children!!

The villagers back away angrily, berating No6 as they retreat

The new No2 appears from the Bandstand, approaches No6 unseen. When he speaks, No6 is jumpy and whirls around, half-aggressive and half-defensive

No2: What on earth? No6?

No6: Wha’…. Where…… What do you want?

No2: This is no time for arguments with your friends No6

No6: I have no friends! I want fewer in this place.

No2: You’ll have even fewer if you carry on this way. Have you no compassion for the victims?

No6: I am the only victim of this place!

No2(raises eyebrows): Have you not read the papers? (flicks Tally Ho on the ground with his umbrella-tip)  Did you not watch the great leader last night?

No6(rubbing temples): I saw the paper yesterday; it made no sense then. But the TV….. I watched…… I saw…… But what did I see? What did I hear? None of it makes any sense in my head.  (snaps aggressively at No2)  What have you done to me NOW!!!

No2(laughing suavely): Me? I’ve done nothing. I am innocent. It was the OLD No2, not me!

No6: Why do the others keep talking of the children? There ARE no children in this place. All the people talking are older than me!!

No2: We were all children once and so there must be children, don’t you think?

No6(scowling): You give us a nice place to play in, and treat us as if we are all children but I prefer to be an adult. As an adult I was brought here, and as an adult I will leave.

No2(crossly): If you would act like an adult and tell us what we want to know, then you can leave any time you like.

No6: Why did I resign you mean? I HAVE told you. You would not believe me.

No2: You told the OLD No2. HE said he didn’t believe you, but we now know that he deceived all of us anyway. So we must all start again don’t you think? Year Zero and all that. Why don’t you tell me?

No6: I never repeat myself. You have it all on tape anyway. You have ALL of it on tape.

No2(temper fraying with ego): Ahh… No6……. Really. You think you can win? Tell ME… Tell me NOW!

No6: I would tell you to go to hell, but you’re already there… (stalks away)

No2 is left standing alone, tapping his umbrella.

He speaks into his wrist, where he evidently has a microphone,

an answering voice coming to his ear via his thick spectacle arms

No2: Complete failure. What went wrong?

Supervisor: He watched and heard the same as everyone else but… he seems not to have believed any of it. I’m sorry.

No2(annoyed): You’re sorry? YOU can be replaced too you know!!

No86(who has returned): Are you okay sir?  (picks up Tally Ho)

No2: What do you think of No6’s attitude No86?

No86: None of us understand how he can be so cold sir; so uncaring. How can any man not care about the children? Some of us think there must be a reason……

No2: You mean….. Him? …... Too?

No86: What other reason could there be sir? The evils of the past. He is damaged and so he causes only damage to the village. He should be taken to the Hospital.

No86 salutes and walks away leaving No2 looking worried

No2(to himself): Now they try to give ME advice? What are we unleashing?

No6 at home again. No14 is tidying the rooms.

No14: Did you watch the Expose?

No6: On the TV? Yes… But… It made no sense.

No14: The witnesses were very persuasive

No6: But who were they? I was told nothing about them

No14(slightly shocked): They were victims. They must be heard… have a voice

No6: I must believe everything they say?

No14: You find it hard to accept the past is not as you believed it to be. That is understandable.

No6: The past is a foreign country to those who don’t remember it. Tell me.

No14: Tell you?

No6: The day before yesterday you told me the old No2 was “a great man, a great and wonderful human being”. Now you ask me if I watched the TV show that told me he was… the most evil man in the history of the village….. a village that does not even HAVE a history!

No14(patting the cushions straight and plump): I was wrong

No6: And today, how do you know you are right today?

No14(flustered): The evidence is clear… The witnesses

No6: There is no evidence. There are only witnesses

No14: More than one witness IS evidence

No6: perhaps it is just collusion

No6: But you personally KNEW the old No2-  you said?

No14: I did……. (looks downcast)

No6: You knew him, you did not know these people whom you have only seen on TV, but now you believe them and disbelieve the person you knew?

No14(becomes upset): You don’t understand. I was so young then. I had no understanding. How could I tell what I knew?

No6(baffled): Knew?

No14: He WAS evil… so devious and evil – Everybody knows now and I could have prevented it – if only I had known!! And that is my shame… my guilt

No14 runs out of the cottage –

the door obligingly opening and whirring closed behind her

Supervisor Observation Area. No2 is watching the baffled face of No6.

No2: I fail to see why he does not believe when all others do

Supervisor(shrugging): He is not like the others

No2(annoyed): Really? Why?

 Supervisor: Only he knows why

The doors swish open and No14 joins the other two

No14: That was the best I could come up with I’m afraid

No2(sarcastically): Running away was quick thinking.

No14(pulls face): He was asking too many questions. I had too few answers

No2(officiously) You said he liked you… a little… It was not enough.

No14(offended): Looks can be deceiving

Supervisor(interrupting): Sir!! He’s reading them again.

No6 is reading the two Tally Ho editions. Two headlines, separated by barely a day.

Village in Mourning

Village in Shock

His head turns from one text to the other, 
comparing, analysing, and studying.

A man obsessed.

End of ACT Two

Act Three

Another new day. No6 is near the Bandstand. There is a large crowd.

Village workmen are passing by. On the back of one of their truck is the

broken head-stone from the grave of the old No2.

No54: Where is the coffin?

No86: Removed in the night. Burned. They say the ashes will be thrown in the sea – on a windy day. No trace will be allowed to pollute our village.

No34: Thanks be to No1, I can rest easy at night again. He…. It….. will have gone

No6: No trace? Not even a memory?

No86: He will be …... Erased.

No6(uncaring): I never knew him anyway

No14: I was ashamed to…Now I can forget

No54: I was another victim. Now I can speak. The fear has gone

No6: Death can be a great release for all of us. Even when it is not our own. One thing still bothers me greatly however.

Group: What?

No6: How do we know… I mean, how do we REALLY know, that the new No2 is not also…. You know….. the CHILDREN!!

No14: No6!! How CAN you??!!

No6: How can you KNOW?!! Can you afford to wait?! The children!!

No86(confused): We MUST know!! We must be sure….. Never again!!

The mood begins to infect the rest of the crowd. 
A rising murmer grows into scowling protest and the crowd lurches in the direction of the Green Dome

Supervisor Area

No2(sweating) Use the Rover!

Supervisor(speaking into phone): Internal Orange Alert! INTERNAL! ORANGE ALERT!!!!

ROVER BIRTHING

A mass of villagers are corralled in a ring outside the Green Dome precincts by a series of pulsating, vaguely threatening Rovers. The people are angry. The people are afraid

 No6 has made his way to the graveyard.

He passes the scuffed earth of a recently disturbed grave.

No6: Rest in Pieces

No6 is approaching the helicopter. It is unguarded – not even a Rover is to be seen.

The Green Dome Precincts. 

Several figures are walking, accompanied by guards. They are wearing futuristic gas-mask headgear.

A voice is heard to say, “Safe and secure No2”.

The masks are removed. The camera pans around.

The entire population of the village seems to be lying prone on the grass.

Camera comes back to the face of No2

No2(crossly): Absolute fiasco. Absolute.

No14: He would not believe neither one nor the other sir

No2: The power of love and the power of hate seem to have neither hold nor interest for him.

(Stops suddenly – looking alarmed)

Where IS he?

(Becoming increasingly panicked)

Where the devil IS he?

No6 has started the helicopter engines and the rotors are whining into motion. There is a tangle of wires protruding from the dashboard of the machine. No6 has been interfering.

The rotors are thrashing at maximum speed and No6 pulls back on the stick, and the craft begins lifts, just as several Rovers bound into view, throwing themselves at the machine. Three are bent and thrown aside by the blades as the helicopter lifts up,beyond their reach.

Supervisor area.

No2(shrieking in panic): Bring him back. Bring him back!

Operators: No response from Auto-Flight control sir! We have no control!!

No2(turning deathly pale): He’s getting away?!

Supervisor: There’s nothing we can do now

The red phone begins to beep angrily

No2(in fear and funk): Oh my God!! …. NO!!!!

Helicopter. No6 is high and flying over open sea.

No land seems to be in view in any direction except behind him: the distant village.

POV to fuel gauges. They are by no means showing full.

LIVING SPACE – No2 is on the red phone. No14 just behind him

No2: Yes… I know the price of such a catastrophe… But….. He must have bypassed the Control Circuits……. I have no idea how he knew…. My job to know….. I know…… What to do…….

No2 replaces the phone and lays his badge next to it. He is frog-marched out by two white-hatted men. 

The Butler is suppressing a silent smile.

No14 drops her badge next to the phone and attaches the No2 to her lapel.

The Butler stands in front of her, with the tea-tray held forward.

 

No6 has turned turns and is heading for the mountains behind the village. The village is passing below. He is over and past, and the land rears up, coming towards him.He is pulling back on the stick and rising higher and higher,waiting for the horizon to come back into view.He banks away again – frustrated. He does not know the way out.The fuel gauges are starting to flash empty.

LIVING SPACE – The new No2 is tapping her teeth with the tip of a pencil. 

The yellow phone rings. The voice of the Supervisor is heard.

Supervisor: No6 is back

No2: Back? How?

Supervisor: By our calculations his fuel would have run out by now. He must have made the same calculation

No2(eyes widening): He does not want to die…….. 

(snaps officiously)Let me know as soon as he is landed

Supervisor: Of course No2

No2 reaches for red phone – a widening smile on her face.

HELICOPTER

No6 sweeps back over the village, slowing as he does so, until he is hovering over the Old Peoples Home. He grabs a wooden box on the passenger seat and wrenches off the lid, whilst holding the craft steady with the stick between his knees. Leaning out, he lets grey, dust spill out, the dust blowing into the downdraft of the rotors, spreading throughout the air. As he does this, he allows the helicopter to get lower and lower until the struts bounce gently on the grass of the lawns, deserted except for one man, prodding at the ground with the tip of his umbrella. There is now a faint settling grey dust drifting across him.

The face of the previously new No2 appears, as the camera zooms in on his dust-begrimed features, but his badge now reads No92. He has a strange scar at his right temple. No6 is climbing out of the helicopter, and they meet under the slowing rotor-blades that now lazily sweep the air above their heads.

No92: You’re back?

No6: No peace for the wicked

No92: There is no escape?

(No6 tosses the wooden box at the feet of No92)

No6: Not for you.  Ashes to Ashes.

No6 walks away, leaving No92 with the box splintered apart at his feet.

No92 wipes away a grimy tear that has trickled down his dirty cheek

No92: All is Dust?

END